9 out of 10 monkeys believe they are not behind glass

Now there is a whole bunch of stuff in this world that I don’t understand. Like string theory, quantum physics, unified theory, algebra, basic math, girls, English (big E), and anyone from India. But the one thing that continually irks me is how so many “celebrities” are celebs because they are famous for being famous.

Kind of like a rose being called a rose then being accepted by all as a rose, when in reality, it was just a weed to begin with. A stinkweed at that. As we say in the biz, the wool has been pulled. What biz I am talking about, I don’t know, but I am sure some biz out there says that. And I want to be trendy, dammit.

Paris Hilton is epitome of this bullshit self reciprocating hollywood hand job. What has she done? Oooooh, she has money. Oooooh, she has had sex on tape. Oooooh, she is a dumb as a box of rocks. (Sorry, box of rocks. I will think of something better so you don’t feel insulted.) Oooooo, her life is a trainwreck.

I tell you what. That is a great role model right there. Top notch high quality American role model.

Personal Ad: 20-something female, has money, will screw on tape, dumb, looking for significant relationship to last at most 4 days. Must bring own reality series.

I don’t get what the fascination is. Is it because she is a walking disaster? A horrible trainwreck we as a collective of consumers can’t turn away from? Is it because we are all in on the joke, but she is oblivious? Is that why we are paying attention? So we can snicker? If that is the case, it makes sense. Although I don’t think it is funny. I usually cringe when I see any “celeb” news show. I am not the kind of person that watches the E channel.

As I see it Jessica Simpson was in this pool for a little while too. But she has something going for her. She actually has something called talent. (She can sing. You have to admit she can sing.) So yeah, her and her ex-husband’s show was a bit of a career cruise control, but that is understandable.

There is just no excuse for people like Paris. White and dirty.

I understand why the world hates us now.

Thanks, Paris.