Bucket of meat
I had a friend in high school that was inadvertently hilarious. Most of the time, without realizing it, he would say something so subversively funny, we couldn’t help but not laugh. There was this one time when we were standing in the line of the local Subway, waiting to place our sandwich orders. He looks at me, folds his arms back to emulate the claws of a T-Rex and says, “I am going to order nothing but a bucket of meat.”
And it is his turn in line. Walking like a dinosaur up to the counter, he flops his unusable t-rex-ish hands up and down and states his request.
“Rawr. I demand a bucket of meat.”
“Excuse me?” The Subway-sandwich-person replies.
“I am a Tyrannosaur Rex.” (pause) “Rawr. I want a bucket of meat.”
“We, uh, don’t have buckets of meat.”
“Ok.” (another pause) “Rawr. I want a subway club, quadruple meat.”
“On what bread?” said the Subway lady.
“No bread. Rawr.”
“No bread?” A completely incredulous response and a raise of the eyebrow.
“Nope.”
“Any cheese?”
“Nope.”
“Veggies?” By now the Subway lady knows the response and is shaking her head.
“Nope. Rawr.”
“Anything else?” She is not sure if this is funny or just annoying.
“Got a bucket?”
Queue our silent giggles turning into outright boisterous laughter. Now, ten years later, whenever I go to Subway, I think of buckets of meat and a T-Rex standing in line ahead of me. How cool is that? To have such an impact with your comedy that your old friends remember it for the rest of their lives. I wonder if I have ever had such an impact on someone. I know that I have had my moments. Maybe somewhere, out there, someone is thinking about some of my more hilarious incidents. Something that just sticks out and makes them smile for no reason.
I wonder.
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