9 out of 10 monkeys believe they are not behind glass

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like a retard? Like a part of your mind is just not working the way it should?

I hate those days. Doesn’t matter how much you focus on an issue, you just won’t get it. And to really shine you on, deep down you know the issue is relatively elementary. Two plus two just somehow equals five. You can’t explain it, you can’t put your finger on it, but you know something is just not kosher.

Although… it does make it easy to blame it all on the cold.

Out of the all the things I could get sick with, colds are the easiest in my opinion, but they are the most sinister as well. They don’t knock you over, they don’t force you on the pot, they don’t make you have to use crutches or a wheelchair, and they don’t send you to the hospital, but they make you just barely functional to get by. No more, no less. With a cold, you can function at work, and in public, but just enough to let people know you are not actually a zombie milling about looking for brains. I actually think zombies are based on people with colds. Honestly. Just change the whole brain thing to cough drops, and the stereotype fits.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuhn, riiiiiiiiicooooooolllllllaaaaaaa, uuuuuuuuuuuuhn, suuuuuuuuucreeeeets…. cough, cough.