discardia

Let me tell you a story…

A few months back, the first Blackberry Pearls started filtering into our company’s ranks. First these little devices, much like the coveted devices before them, spread among the executives, then to the managers, then down to the snooty gods in human form (otherwise known as project managers), and then to a lucky few, who managed to finagle a good word with the boss and who saved the company from most certain disaster more than a few times, among the lower echelons of those who are able to actually get blackberries in our backwater company, we were blessed with said devices.

This guy I work with, Levi… he has been begging for a Pearl for months. Since the first one was crudely delivered by the stinky UPS guy, box battered and slightly tattered, Levi has pined, nay, lusted for a Pearl of his own. Levi is one of the administrators that handles the Blackberry Enterprise Server for our company, and often has to activate the device for the user before delivering it into their greedy hands with a horribly sad look upon his face. Literally, and I mean quite literally, he has asked our boss for a Pearl on almost a daily basis. Three months of asking for a Pearl. And my boss isn’t quite the stereotypical penny pincher, but he comes awfully close. Pennies have been seen cringing in his shadow, and lamenting the tarnish of their soon to be pinched copper surfaces.

After the second or third week, and after many resounding “no’s” and “I don’t think so” and “be patient” and “no effing way”, Levi resorted to more subtle means of attack and persuasion. Much like Ralphie of The Christmas Story, Levi made every attempt to convince everyone that he was indeed deserving of a Pearl.

“And what do you want little boy? You want a football?”

“No! I want an official RIM Blackberry Pearl, high speed network action, two megapixel camera model multimedia phone, with a maps application and ‘this thing’ which allows you to ‘push-to-talk’!”

“Oh no, Kid! You’ll just poke your eye out or something like that… They are dangerously small and a poorly executed stumble could drive the small device into your eye. Sorry.”

But he continued on… asking everyday in a new and clever way…

“You know… I think my productivity could be increased.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, a Pearl would be easy for me to actually use.”

Sarcasm: “You don’t say.”

Then he tried the sad story to anyone that would listen…

“Something is wrong with my Blackberry 7100.”

“What’s that?”

“It keeps deleting email by itself and the call log is corrupted.”

Disdain: “Well you better get it fixed, then.”

Then last week I got a Pearl. I had a Nokia e62 and frankly, it was a piece of shit. P-O-S. I had been “testing” it as a potential Blackberry replacement option for those that wanted something a bit more robust than a blackberry. Something more like a smartphone or something like that (whatever). So I had a 7100 just like Levi, then spent a couple months testing the e62, then after having a host of issues and problems with the stupid thing, I asked my boss if I could have a Pearl (my 7100 was long gone).

He said: “Of course.”

I think he said yes because I had actually put some thought into my approach. The e62 was crap, I had paid my dues, shown my reasoning, and made a very valid argument for replacement. I had the Pearl the following day.

Yeah. The following day. Thanks airshipping.

Another guy that I work with came into my office and saw me playing with a new phone.

“That yours?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

“Oh shit, Levi is going to be pissed.” he said.

“Well he doesn’t need to know about it I guess.”

So I synced it up and made a point to keep it out of the way when I was around him. But the thing rang and flashed and made a ruckus under a stack of papers. He noticed that my “e62″ was exhibiting some strange behaviors.

“Did you get a new phone?” Levi asked.

“Ummmmm…. maybe.” I half-heartedly admit.

“You fucker, you got a Pearl.”

“Ummmmm…. maybe.” No reason to fight the inevitable.

“Oh, that is bullshit!”

So today I come into work and what do I find him doing?

Talking on his “Pearl”.

If you notice, it does indeed say “Pearl” and it seems to have a “Camera” on the back.

Interesting new pity ploy, don’t you think?

He is sooooo proud of his new “Pearl”. Everyone insists that it is a 7100 with some stickers, but he wants to believe.

So I guess we will let him play out his fantasy if he wants, I guess. =)

I ain’t going to stop him.