discardia

Creative things said in recent bike rides into the office between my illustrious partner in commuting crime and I:

• I have christened my seat with a new name. The ass mangler.
• My seat is called the sodomizer 2000.
• Have you seen that south park with Mr. Garrison’s IT?
• My bike seat is writing checks that my ass can’t cash.
• After this, I am going to need a tractor seat.
• I think I am going to upgrade my seat to just a pole, that actually may be more comfortable.
• I feel like an overused ten dollar ho. I need a liberal application of aloe vera.
• Perhaps rubbing my ass against a belt sander would feel better.
• Did anyone catch the plate number of the truck that just drove up my ass?
• There is only so much abuse a human butt can take. Seats are designed by sadomasochists.
• And if I ever meet the sick bastard that designed my seat, I am going to beat him with it. Although he would probably enjoy it.
• Perhaps riding without a seat would be easier.
• Some things are just plain easier when you just stand up on your pedals.
• Deep knee bends on a bike seat are never fun, no matter how much the porn guys are paying you.
• Have you seen my bike seat? I think it has fused into my ass cheeks.