9 out of 10 monkeys believe they are not behind glass

I tell you what, keeping this environment up and fully operational is sometimes a bit taxing. I am always short on something, whether it be resources, time, money, or people, keeping everything up and operational is a bit of stretch. It is getting to the point that I almost avoid work, just in case something bad happens. I can’t spend my time developing something new when, at any moment, something else is going to break and just take me away from the new thing. So my output of improvements has drastically dropped in the last year.

I either don’t have the time myself to do it, or I am a rationalizing half-assed coward procrastinator.

I have this laundry list of sorts. It is a list of all the things I want to accomplish before I leave my current company. I have always felt that when I get all the items on the list knocked off, I can brush up my resume and move on to other things.

My laundry list has gotten awfully short.

I have like three or four major things left on it, and then I am done. I could conceivably have everything completed on it by early next year. That is huge. My laundry list has kept me busy for over four years. And I know that at a certain point, the balance will be reached between entropy and order. My work will turn completely to maintenance.

Maybe that is why I push things back or avoid work. Maybe I am afraid. I know that definitely hate maintenance.

Deep down, perhaps even subconsciously, I don’t want to finish the list.

Because that way, I will always have something that no one else can see. An objective that only I care about, something to keep me at this job that, admittedly, has lost some of its luster. Because I know for sure that I rather be excited about what I do, and my job has not been exciting for quite a while.

It is just tedious and draining now. I am so sick of fighting users. It’s like I am a parent and/or a janitor. I spend more time telling users “no” than I do making things better. And that really pisses me off. I am not going to rant. I have done that enough about users, so I will just move on.

And now for something completely different.

Biggest Loser on TV. A two hour show every week that should only be an hour long. Yet somehow, the network has stretched it to last two hours, with commercials every two minutes, way over dramatized camera cuts and audio buildups, and embedded commercials in the actual show. Product placement is everywhere. If you are going to make commercials part of the damn show, please cut the number of actual commercial breaks, and make the show a damn hour! Come on. And the dramatic cuts before the commercials, and the 30 second lead in after the commercials is just silly. My wife likes watching it, but it is almost painful for me. I rather watch Survivor.

And that is saying something.