discardia

Generally whenever anyone posits such a remark in a conversation, it is usually because they are actually big fat jerks.

However, I am not a jerk. I am a type-b, laid back personality, and I usually take things as they come. I have my moments though, and this morning I definitely had one.

I was Starcracks, getting myself a cuppajoe, when I stumbled upon not only one of the most frustrating social situations one can encounter, but two.

You know em. They are the people that stand at the coffee bar (where the sugar, spice and creamer is at) and take 20 mins to mix their drink to seemingly scientific levels of precision where they can taste if their damn iced half-whip, full foam, doubleshot, barista spit, double pump mocha has exactly 24 grains of sugar. Not 25, nay 26 is right out, nor 23, for that is too few. Exactly 24. And they have to mix it all so damn slow, I thought the world was going to start spinning backwards like some parody of a Superman movie.

With one such individual, you can still mosey on up and get your dash of creamer and be on your way. But with two! With two, you my friend are fucking stuck.

I couldn’t mosey on up. I couldn’t even reach the creamer if I wanted to. So I had to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Happy Birthday!

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year 2009!

And wait…

Damn.

Granted, if this is the worst inconvenience one can suffer, I will gladly take it. But still. You just want to dump your 180 degree coffee on there damn head and tell them if they want to take 20 minutes to mix their coffee, they better well do it off to the damn side and at least attempt to be polite to the other customers.

So here’s to you, coffee scientists everywhere, hope you have a great day!

But… tomorrow I hope you dump 2 grains of extra sugar into your ass-clown excuse of a drink and suffer the unholy consequences!