9 out of 10 monkeys believe they are not behind glass

Hi.

My name is Spring. I generally come in around any damn time I feel like it. I try not to stick with the equinox or any stupid human calendar, and I try to keep things lively by jumping back out again and letting Winter piss all over you all. Hope you don’t mind. Keeps things fresh.

You know Fresh. As in Spring. (That’s me, mofo.)

I like to keep things hopping (bunny reference), and bright (sunshine reference), but for the most part, I just enjoy making every SINGLE ONE OF YOU MOFOs SNEEZE. That’s where I get off. Allergies.

Stupid humans. Think you control the world. Then I show up, make a few of you sneeze and a six billion dollar drug industry sprouts up to keep you from sneezing. Just wait though, in a couple years, when my Triffids are done, you won’t have any pills big enough to cure those problems.

But, until then, enjoy mowing your lawns and pulling weeds. Because it is, after all, spring. And there is a time to bloom, and a time to die, and a time to make your eyes water. Enjoy it. Because trust me, the triffid thing I mention is going to be worse. Don’t want any spoilers leaking out about that though. So hush, hush.

And in the meantime, try not to trash the place. I am gone for a few months, and your economy tanks. Gosh, thank goodness Mother Nature didn’t work like that or you would find your self in an ice age every 5 years.

Food for thought.