9 out of 10 monkeys believe they are not behind glass

Tomorrow I hit the safety of my personal shores.

Then come Monday, cleanup at work. I know that plenty of doodie has hit the fan so to speak, and I of course will have to clean it all up.

Then come Friday, my wisdom teeth are getting the five finger discount from my ortho surgeon. Too bad I am paying him to steal four of my teeth.

Seriously, when did I have to start paying for my teeth? Wasn’t the tooth fairy supposed to pay me?

Tell you what bums me out the most about taking time off from work? The inevitable realization that the company does not in fact need you. Every person, no matter how delusioned, is actually quite replaceable. The distinction is on the care factor. How much do you care that your job is done right? Your way? If “your way” and the “company’s way” mesh well, you are closer to be irreplaceable than not. I care a lot about my job (which drives me nuts, cause I hate it sometimes) and I care how things “go down” on “my turf”. Sometimes I feel like a fraud, other times I feel like I am leading the blind. That is not arrogance… and don’t mistake it for such. I love my coworkers and value them very highly… but I feel that I represent a worldview that is sometimes absent or lacking in our group. Maybe it is just me… it is hard to tell, hence the frustration I often feel for my job. Painful at times. And the politics just add icing to the cake. Where can I draw the line between reason and acceptance? Am I sole fighter in my crusade for an environment that meshes with industry standards and a balance between technology and return on investment?

Sometimes my degrees and training and all that rot feel worthless. What happened to my dream of being an author? Here I am at 27 suffering an existential crises and what do I have? About 50 unfinished ideas on paper and another 100 thousand circling the ether of my cranium.

I wish I had my brother’s ability to get things written out. I often say that if both of us turned into authors, he would write the text book and I would write the scifi novel.

Truth.

Wellllllll….

On Upward Bound tour finally. Left home at 4:45 am this morning.

Been kind of dreading it for a while just due to the amount of work that it takes on my part, the amount of stress it puts on my wife, and the amount of time it takes out of vacation time at work. It is kind of stressful to be in charge of twenty or so kids (or lack of in charge, since they are teenagers). But still… to be responsible for the safety and well being of all these kids can be a bit dragging at times.

That and my wife is kind of borderline psycho the entire two and half weeks. Like not knife in the shower crazy, but kind of catnip in a cat hospital crazy. A moving whirlwind of stress to say the least. And fitful like a bad storm, coming and going, you never know what type of sky you are going to have next. Rainy and windy, or a gentle break and sunny, or thunder peals and bright flashes of magnesium white lightening.

A tempest.

At least I got the king seat. Yee – ha. The King Seat. Like the exit row on an airplane, but on a bus instead. Tons of leg room to kick back and enjoy yourself. Yay for me.

We are in Amarillo tonight. Had the concert already. The kids were very shaky for their first concert, which is understandable, but cringing was still seen in the ranks fo the chaperones at times. Scrreeeeeeeeccccccchhhhh – flllllllaaaaaaaaaatttttttt – *shudder*.

Cool to have a couple of my Amarillo co-workers in the audience though. Jim, Kevin, and Rachel all came. That was a first. Generally we never have friendly faces in the audience that we know. I like Jim and Kevin… they gave a hilarious rendition of just how hickish parts of Amarillo are with the tires in the yard and bathtubs full of flowers. I laughed hard enough to shed a few tears… cause we drove through that nieghborhood when we came into town.

We are spending the night on the floor of the church and tomorrow after service it is onto the Big Springs for a concert at a retirement home.

I already miss my dogs. I know that sounds lame. But they are kind of like kids to me. So silly how a bundle of fur attaches to your heartstrings like a person. So easy to anthropomorphize the dogs – assigning them personalities and feelings (even voices!). Oh well.

On to day 2!

We kidnapped the new freshmeat freshmen over the weekend for our church’s youth group. It involved driving around at 7 am in the morning on Saturday (for an hour!) picking up the post-eighth graders and pulling them out of bed by suprise. Sometimes the parent was waiting for us outside the house ready to let us in and suprise the still slumbering noob student with a bell and a photograph. You can catch all the mayhem here.

After the round-up we (or should I say Chris, their ever inventive leader) took them all out to breakfast with the Senior leaders and the Chaps (Chaperones… i.e. anyone still not in high school). We went to a silly little theme restaurant here in Colorado called Gunther Toody’s – kind of like Johnny Rocket’s or Angel’s Cafe. A throwback theme to the 50′s and 60′s (and now 70′s) of big hair, motorcycles, the twist, and more gaudy colors than you can shake a big bopper at.

Confession time:

I used to work there.

Yeah no kidding. My name was Cadillac and I did the twist on demand. You ask me today and you will probably get a ridiculing look and a withering remark.

Stop. Reverse that. A withering look and just ridicule. And on we go…

Worked there so long that I actually helped train two managers. Which goes to show the turn over rate in the restaurant biz. I think everyone should work in the food service industry… really helps put some perspective on customer service and what is involved in making people happy. Sometimes it can be frustrating.

So always tip a little extra. I go for 20% unless someone royally screws something up.

Life Lesson #2994: Always tip the people that help you. Waiters, Maids, Taxi Drivers… always. A little good karma will always help the world… and yes, you can buy positive karma.

Jess and I are about to go on Tour. Tour? Like trailing the Bare Naked Ladies or hanging out with Death Cab for Cutie, or rocking hard with Green Day?

Sadly, none of the above. Sex, Drugs and Rock Roll are not part of the Upward Bound vocabulary.

Yeah that’s right, Upward Bound. Sounds like a hippie new age feel good huggie group that all wear sweater sets and bright white slacks. All running around the country on a bus full of singing and clapping and big pearly white smiles… and hugs. Tons of hugs. What is that movie? The one with the psycho brady bunch wannabe’s on the bus… and Fabio is their leader? Ummmm. Dude Where’s my Car?, maybe? Noooo. Bubble Boy! Ah, yes. Thank you IMDB.

Again, sadly, the hippie thing is not too far away from the truth. But the smiles are mostly absent. And thankfully so are the hugs.

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“So…. I am thinking about running for president.”

“President?”  Her eyes went slightly wide.  “Like president of the United States?”

“Eventually.”

“But you hate politics.”

“Yeah.”  I shrug.

“Don’t you have to be in politics to run for President?  Have money and all that?”

“Right now you do.  By the time I run, things will be different.”

“Different?”

“The world can change a lot in 20 years.  Is it so hard to think that my kind of crazy may be normal by then?”

“God help us, I hope not.”