Archive for the ‘ Tweetage ’ Category

Twitter Updates for 2011-11-05

  • She looks up and yells "What are doing in my shower?". I reply " Sorry Ma'am, I thought you ordered a clown". – I make horror/comedy easy. #
2011
11/05
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-11-04

  • And today's random curse word is: "kockenballs". Note: NOT "cock & balls". Make it sound *German*. #
2011
11/04
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-11-03

  • Stefani impression: "This shit is bononos. B-O-N-O-N-O-S." Yeah that's a bo and a two no's. #Ohnoes #
2011
11/03
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-11-02

  • I would tell people that I have a learning disability, but they wouldn't believe me. Oops I just forgot your name again. #
  • And Osmosis is a valid approach to learning. Hitting my head against a book generally does help impart the knowledge within. #
  • Before, during, and after reading a book… I am still feeling it. #
  • Now someone will inevitably point out that my disability and my reading method coincide. But their rational logic…Oops what was your name? #
2011
11/02
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-11-01

  • Right in the middle of the alphabet, I always see a nonsensical word. abcdefghij-LMNOP-qrstuvwxyz. Pronunciation: "Lemonop". #
2011
11/01
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-10-29

  • If my internet gets any more saturated, I am going to see a chemistry experiment in action. Precipitation! #
2011
10/29
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-10-26

  • Oh thanks – this makes me feel sooooo much better. WTF. http://t.co/UVN9NXxl #
  • Note to self: when starting my own despotic country post similar signs under every clandestine and obvious camera position. #
  • I feel like I am staying at the Orwell Hotel. Hahahaha. #
2011
10/26
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-10-25

  • Butt Monkey = like a trunk monkey, but it emerges hind ward with crowbar in hand to deal with adversarial people. #
  • Note to self: find method for painless exit and re-entry of monkey. And sew a flap into all pants for successful exit. #
2011
10/25
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-10-24

  • Somehow the Broncos win. I think there must have been an invisible player on the field. I see you, Ghost-of-xmas-past. Who knew you played? #
  • That was a miracle of a game, and a sorely needed win. And I am not a huge fan. When people like me see the need for a win… That's baaaad. #
  • And now I guess Tebow jerseys are going to jump in price a bit. Not the best game, but those last 4 mins… #
2011
10/24
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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Twitter Updates for 2011-10-20

  • My company needs to relearn the definition of "leverage". Like Inigo Montoya would say "I do not think it means what you think it means." #
  • They say Leverage and spend an extra bucket of money. I say Leverage and spend zero. And if I heard the word Resource one more time… #
  • … I will bust out more Princess Bride quotes and reduce any sane argument down to a hilarious diatribe on MAWIGE. #
  • The darkness encroaches my headlights, looking back at me from the glass. No wonder Stephen King has written about evil cars. Yikes. #
2011
10/20
CATEGORY
Tweetage
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