First task, and what I should have asked Chuck, but forgot.\u00a0 Learning to travel…? Jump? Teleport?\u00a0 Fucking transportation magic?<\/p>\n
Pop quiz hotshot: What do you call jumping out of your bed in the morning and having your morning coffee in LA a thousand of miles away?<\/p>\n
Answer: Fucking impossible.<\/p>\n
My first attempt was to try to go from my bed to the desk.\u00a0 I stood there for a minute, with my eyes closed tight trying to imagine moving through space and time like a ghost.<\/p>\n
Doctor Who I am not, and a TARDIS I do not have.<\/p>\n
So I took the Jedi approach and waved my hand and tried to feel it out.<\/p>\n
Abject failure.<\/p>\n
Then I tried the comic book approach and just tried jumping with a little will behind it.<\/p>\n
More abject failure and a sore ankle.<\/p>\n
Then I swore loudly, ran towards the wall, and soundly broke my nose.<\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
Sigh.<\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
Once I got the bleeding under control, which was completely lost on me to begin with; since I was dead, and had no need for blood in the first place.\u00a0 Just like I had food and drink, but no need to crap it out.\u00a0 Why the hell did I need blood?\u00a0 That is like having snot run down your face.\u00a0 Ghosts don’t get colds.<\/p>\n
Of course, I guess I wasn’t a ghost.\u00a0 The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.\u00a0 I thought I was dead, but on Prime, everyone would see me and I could interact with everyone.\u00a0 So that made me a zombie or a vampire, right?\u00a0 Undead.\u00a0 Except my body was fleshy and real.\u00a0 Not dying and falling off, and I sure did not have any sort of hankering for flesh.<\/p>\n
At least not yet. (Although steak sounded good.\u00a0 But that is not human flesh, so it doesn’t count.)<\/p>\n
I wonder if I could get laid.\u00a0 Hmmm, getting off topic.<\/p>\n
I walked over to desk, pinching the bridge of my nose and hoping it wouldn’t bruise and swell up.\u00a0 It felt tender, but I had worse.\u00a0 Much worse considering my last couple days. But it still hurt.<\/p>\n
I grabbed a notebook from the drawer, a little black thing that said Moleskine on the back.\u00a0 It was blank, just soft gray lines on creamy offwhite paper. A looked high and low for a pen, but I couldn’t find shit.\u00a0\u00a0 I would have to pick one up.\u00a0 I also grabbed the little slip of paper from under the blotter with all the odd writing on it and tucked into the flap inside the black cover.<\/p>\n
I looked down my front, made sure there was no blood, and headed towards my front door.\u00a0 With a twist of the wrist, a flick of the other to close the door behind me, I patted my pocket and felt a key.<\/p>\n
Everything fits.\u00a0 I pulled it out anyway and tried in on my door.\u00a0 Yep, everything fits.\u00a0 How convenient the universe seemed to be after I had died.\u00a0 It would be a lot easier if the universe was like this for everyone from the get-go.\u00a0\u00a0 I bet there was some insipid rule that governed how the key appeared in the first place.\u00a0 I wondered if all the lost keys in the world were actually just being re-appropriated.\u00a0 That would be funny.<\/p>\n
I hobbled down the stairs on my sore ankle, and out the shared front door.<\/p>\n
Into the brightest motherfucking sunshine I had ever felt.\u00a0 It was like crazy bright.\u00a0 Maybe I was actually a vampire.\u00a0 Any moment I was going to burst into flame.<\/p>\n
I looked down the street and saw nothing but apartments and small houses.\u00a0 I looked down the other way, and saw more of the same.\u00a0 I was on a main street of some sort, with store fronts dotting the street on both sides for a ways in both directions.\u00a0 To my left was the coffee shop and market that Chuck had mentioned.\u00a0 A couple stores down was a used clothing boutique, and past that a jazz club of some sort.\u00a0 Downtown, or at least what I thought of downtown since it had all the tall buildings was directly down to the west? of me.\u00a0 South?\u00a0 Mountains are that way.\u00a0 Denver was east of the mountains?\u00a0 That would make that west.<\/p>\n
So downtown Denver was west of me.\u00a0 Yay.\u00a0 I knew I was going to travel someday.<\/p>\n
I headed to the boutique and found a case of some used decent sunglasses.\u00a0 I picked a 1950’s style of Oakley beatnik shades… something dark, and brooding.\u00a0 Like what my vampire nature deserved.\u00a0 (Yeah, I am definitely not a vampire.)<\/p>\n
“That will be the 22.50, sir.”\u00a0 The lady at the checkout said.<\/p>\n
I patted my other front pocket and felt a wallet.\u00a0 No shit.\u00a0 The universe just thought of everything didn’t it. I pulled the billfold out and found credit cards for a Doug Gates. (No paper trail my ass. I had credit cards.)\u00a0 It also had a handful of different denominations.\u00a0\u00a0 I pulled a couple of twenties out and handed it over.<\/p>\n
“Nice day out there.”\u00a0 The lady followed up with as she took my money.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, it is.\u00a0 Really bright.”<\/p>\n
“Hence the sunglasses.” She quipped.<\/p>\n
“Hence the sunglasses.” I mimicked kindly.<\/p>\n
“New to town?” She asked. Her name tag said Candice. Actually it said, HI, MY NAME IS CANDICE.\u00a0 The all capitals really sold it.\u00a0 Not at all like someone screaming right in your face, ‘HI, HOW ARE YOU, DO YOU LIKE THE COLOR BLUE?’<\/p>\n
I would have responded, ‘WHY YES, I LOVE THE COLOR BLUE IN ALL ITS VARIANTS AND THE SOUNDS OF A BABY CRYING WHILE SHITTING ITSELF.’\u00a0 But that would be rude, based on nothing more than a simple name tag that poor Candice had no control over.<\/p>\n
“I am new to town. How did you know?” I said.<\/p>\n
“You had a lost look on your face when you walked in.\u00a0 Also, you just look like you are from out of town.”<\/p>\n
“How’s that?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know actually.\u00a0 You just do.”\u00a0 She smiled.<\/p>\n
“Thanks for the glasses.\u00a0 Do you have the time?”<\/p>\n
“If you need a watch, there are some over in that case.” She winked.\u00a0 “It is 11:30am.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, thanks.\u00a0 This will sound stupid, but what day is it?”<\/p>\n
She looked at me funny for a moment, then smiled widely again. “Its Tuesday.”<\/p>\n
“I guess a watch would be a good idea.” I admitted.<\/p>\n
After I bought the watch and equipped my new purchases, I started strolling down the street.\u00a0 The restaurants and bistros had people sitting down and eating, folks in suits and dresses, ties and scarves, the world continuing on, just as it had before I died. It was kind of comforting in a way.\u00a0 Having everything just seem normal.\u00a0 After the madness of the last couple of my days, it was downright pleasant.<\/p>\n
I stopped in a little cafe, picked up a newspaper, some food and drink and sat down.\u00a0 The date put me at about 8 months since I had passed on, which wasn’t a big surprise.\u00a0\u00a0 Things hadn’t changed much.\u00a0 Price of gasoline was a concern, people were still fighting in the middle east, and there was some sort of bake sale occurring this weekend to support the police alumni association.\u00a0 Welp, super duper.<\/p>\n
All in all, the world was still the world.\u00a0 I ate my scone and drank my coffee and started writing everything I could think of into the small black notebook with my freshly stolen pen from the clothing store. It wrote very nicely.\u00a0 Of course, maybe it was the paper in the notebook.\u00a0 Whatever it was, it felt nice to write my thoughts out in some sort of order I could rearrange and play with later on.<\/p>\n
I vomited what I remembered of my internal dialogue from the night before.\u00a0 I listed my facts, my options, my assets and my liabilities.\u00a0 I tried to separate everything out on to four different pages, and then I went through and I ranked everything.\u00a0 Crossed things out here and there as I went.\u00a0 I triple checked the little scrap of paper for more clues.\u00a0 Not much to be found.<\/p>\n
And the Travel thing was still number one.\u00a0 Dammit.<\/p>\n
I had to call Chuck.\u00a0 I didn’t want to, the guy was obviously busy.\u00a0 But I did.\u00a0 Right there in the coffee shop.\u00a0 Probably looked like I crazy, mumbling to myself.\u00a0 I tried to talk with my inside voice, but that wasn’t working 100%.<\/p>\n
Ooooh! Plot twist!\u00a0 All the crazy people on Prime are actually dead people making mental phone calls!\u00a0 Too bad that wasn’t true, it would make finding friends easier.<\/p>\n
“Doug?” Chuck said.\u00a0 A voice in the back of my head.<\/p>\n
“Chuck!\u00a0 Sorry to bother you, but how do I travel?\u00a0 You know the spinning, twisting teleport thing you do?”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, we kind of skipped over that part of the training.”\u00a0 Chuck admitted.\u00a0 “You didn’t ask the aspect locked in your map?”<\/p>\n
“Ah, no.” I said.\u00a0 Shit, I forgot the map. Again.\u00a0 I bet Tony was pissed.<\/p>\n
“Its easy, just focus on where you want to go. Just like making this connection.\u00a0 But instead of a person, its a place.\u00a0 You do that, and you will slip right through.\u00a0 As you get used to it, you can flair it up however you want.”<\/p>\n
“And if I haven’t been to the place?”<\/p>\n
“Just aim for it.\u00a0 Most of the time, you will get it right.\u00a0 And if you don’t, you will be close.\u00a0 Just try again.”<\/p>\n
“Sounds promising.” I said sarcastically.<\/p>\n
“You landed your realm in Prime, something that I thought was impossible, so I doubt you will have a problem with it.\u00a0 Just practice, dude.\u00a0 Chuck out.”<\/p>\n
And he was gone.\u00a0 I grabbed my notebook and pen, noticed that absolutely no one even noticed my strange behavior and headed back to my place. While I was walking back in the sunshine, I thought about the other cafe that Oman had taken me to.\u00a0 I remembered the alley and the green sign, and the…<\/p>\n
And there I was. I didn’t notice the transition, or the feeling of movement.\u00a0 One step I was in Denver, the next I was in LA.\u00a0 It had been seamless.<\/p>\n
And there she was, standing in the cafe at the register, punching furiously away at the point of sale terminal.\u00a0 It was the lunch rush, she was obviously busy.\u00a0 I pulled my black book out and looked at my notes.\u00a0 Her name was Imaria. Daughter of Oman, the Angel.\u00a0 How do you break the ice with a daughter of an Angel?<\/p>\n
I walked into the cafe, decent sort of place, a thousand of them in LA I would think, and the hostess looked me over coolly.<\/p>\n
“Table for one?” She asked.<\/p>\n
“Preferably in her section?” I said meekly as I pointed her out.<\/p>\n
“Oh sure.”\u00a0 She said sarcastically. Then she turned as Imaria walked by. “Hey May, you know this guy?”<\/p>\n
Imaria\/May turned and looked me over. “Nope!” She called as she sped away.<\/p>\n
“You get all creepy, I will have Jorge kick your ass out.” The hostess warned.<\/p>\n
“Its not like that at all!” I protested. “She is a good server, that’s all.”<\/p>\n
“Uh-huh.\u00a0 And the fact that she is stacked and friendly as hell has nothing to do with it.” The hostess lifted an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
“None at all, promise.” I tried to give her my best smile.\u00a0 I probably failed.<\/p>\n
“Fine, that table right there.\u00a0 Help yourself.”<\/p>\n
“Thanks.”<\/p>\n
“Don’t mention it.\u00a0 Like ever.”\u00a0 She turned away to go pluck her eyebrows or something.<\/p>\n
I sat down and watched Imaria\/May go about her business with her other tables as discreetly as I could.\u00a0 Perhaps coming and sitting in her section was a bad idea.\u00a0 I probably should be working on my actual cases, not checking on a cute waitress. But then again, she was cute. So I had that going for me.<\/p>\n
She sped by and dropped a menu off. “Be with you in a sec.\u00a0 Water?”<\/p>\n
“Yes, please.”<\/p>\n
The menu was standard fare.\u00a0 Chicken this, hamburger that, pretending-to-be-healthy-salads, pasta, and a smattering of texmex americana.\u00a0 I decided on the BLT, since I had a scone not even fifteen minutes ago.\u00a0 Something light that I could dissect and play with to kill some time while I tried to figure out where to start.\u00a0 I would just have to be charming.<\/p>\n
After all, that had worked out for me so well in my past life. I was so charming my last girlfriend had dumped me for some dude she met at a Walmart checkout line.\u00a0 It wasn’t meant to be anyway, she was Russian.\u00a0 Nice body, but the worst attitude about personal appearance.\u00a0 Fit right in at Venice beach.\u00a0 More cali than the locals, as I would tell people.\u00a0 But she had at least taken the time to get to know me a bit, so it still hurt when she walked out.<\/p>\n
“Hello, my name is May, and I will be your server this afternoon!\u00a0 Here is your water.\u00a0 Ready to order?”\u00a0 She had snuck up on me as I was lost in thought about Russian hoes.\u00a0 So of course, my smooth plan went right out the proverbial window.\u00a0 And hit the street.\u00a0 And rolled.<\/p>\n
“Uh… um… recommend anything?”<\/p>\n
“Oh, I like the Cobb Salad, but it isn’t really a salad.\u00a0 More like a kitchen sink with some lettuce at the bottom.\u00a0 You have to have a big appetite to hammer that one down.\u00a0\u00a0 The best light fare is actually the Chile Relleno.\u00a0\u00a0 Real lightly fried, so not greasy at all.\u00a0 Our head cook, Jorge… its his mother’s recipe.\u00a0 Super tasty.\u00a0 Pretty healthy too.\u00a0 Stuffed with chicken, peppers, onions and just a little cheese to bring it all together. Its heaven.”\u00a0 She sighed.<\/p>\n
“Then that is what I will have.” I said.\u00a0 I made eye contact with her and noticed her eyes were a brilliant green, with flecks of turquoise swimming about.\u00a0 They were cat’s eyes.\u00a0 I handed her the menu a little more slowly than what was probably considered natural.<\/p>\n
“Do you wear contacts?” I said sheepishly.<\/p>\n
“Optometrist are you?” She smiled, tucking the menu under her arm.\u00a0 “Nope, no contacts. Anything to drink or you good with water?”<\/p>\n
“Just water is fine. Thanks.”<\/p>\n
“No problem.” And off she went.<\/p>\n
Someone else delivered the chile relleno, and when she checked on me, my mouth was full.\u00a0 So that opportunity was shot.\u00a0 The next time she came round, she refilled my drink, and asked if I wanted anything else.\u00a0 I tried to think of something witty or funny.<\/p>\n
“Sorry about the eyes thing.\u00a0 They just caught me off guard.\u00a0 …Shiny.”<\/p>\n
I failed.\u00a0 BOOM.\u00a0 SPLAT. CRUNCH.<\/p>\n
“Shiny?” She asked.<\/p>\n
“Very.” I think my insides wanted to implode and take me with them.\u00a0 God I am an idiot.\u00a0 Stupid, stupid, stupid.<\/p>\n
She smirked… and then grinned!\u00a0 “I like that.\u00a0 Shiny.\u00a0 Well you have a good day.”<\/p>\n
I think the implosion feeling was getting worse.\u00a0 I am pretty sure I was going to take my table and the surrounding ones as well in the blast.<\/p>\n
“Thank you.”<\/p>\n
I paid the check with a huge obnoxious tip and got the hell out of there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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