{"id":457,"date":"2019-06-24T19:47:10","date_gmt":"2019-06-25T02:47:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/?p=457"},"modified":"2020-09-29T10:00:08","modified_gmt":"2020-09-29T17:00:08","slug":"hindsights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/archives\/457","title":{"rendered":"Hindsights"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
The gray cat squalor of rubbish ruined\nLooking back on my closeted output\nIt was forlorn in its horribleness\nDesperate scratching of an inkless pen\nThrumming upon narrow ruled paper \nSounding like an old guitar \nHalf unwound strings, metal frayed\nLooking nearly suicidal on the fretboard\nI worry that my past self was depressed<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
I look back, cringing in horror\nWill upon my review of my current self\nShrink into the grave unbidden\nWary to relieve myself ostentatiously\nPretentious, my own corpse shrugs\nSuch things are left to my children\nTo make that face, the squished eyebrows\nAnd curled nose, over a filled diaper\nInvisible threads of disaster, present<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
To think I called it poetry, verse, rhyme\nTime machines were invented to kill ourselves\nMercifully<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
I sat across a table today from a young man\nHe is brash to rough, and bold as brass\nWondering where his earned dues are from all\nAs if he is God's gift, expecting reward\nHand outstretched, placatingly seeking nothing\nNothing that I can provide, evaporating\nGlances, furtive eye contact, desperation stinks\nIt is in my nose, I can feel it on my skin\nHe got it all over me, and showering fails<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
But my time machine of my inner mind \nFired up, the time rods shifted upwards\nHumming, thrumming, turning about, thrusting upon\nAnd I found myself, there\u2026 on the other side\nA young man, a rock star, god's very own gift\nBlessed upon the earth with aplomb and gusto\nCircumstance for pomp and praises trumpeted\nAloud, that is where I was, deserving\nPalms wide to outstretched, expecting gifts<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
To think I was him once, the verve, the noise\nI spent twenty years to abandon him\nThankfully<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Grace is the gift of the elder, given graciously\nWisdom is the curse to know it takes precedence\nOver anything else.  Kindness matters, once\nBut in these things, I am certain most soundly\nNo emergency flare will light, no alarm will sound\nCanaries might die in their cages at the mines\nBut the messenger will not notice their passing\nThey will only notice danger when it is bare\nPresent, bearing its teeth eagerly<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Who was I all those years ago? \nThis very question prompts me to think \nOf the moments spread in morning to night\nI am what I have pretended the longest\nConning even myself with some actual progress\nThat kid, man. That kid, he scares me\nWriting poetry on beat nights, caffeinated \nBeing miserable without license and fee\nCarrying a mountain of self invented shit<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Life is nothing but irony illustrated\nTruth laid bare, barren, exposed and shirking \nUnforgivably<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The gray cat squalor of rubbish ruined Looking back on my closeted output It was forlorn in its horribleness Desperate scratching of an inkless pen Thrumming upon narrow ruled paper Sounding like an old guitar …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-verse","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=457"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":552,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457\/revisions\/552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}