I see other versions of myself
\nLate at night when the dark pushes its way
\nInto the edges of the room, forcing their retreat
\nThe focal length of my room changes
\nAs the corners stretch to an impossible distance
\nAre these the boundaries of my consciousness
\nThe moments, the potentialities, overlap and
\nInevitable conflict arises from deep within
\nThese other versions of me expand the space
\nFilling the volume with their gaseous forms
\nTaking over my breath and my own heartbeat
\nThey are from other world threads that are no more
\nSacrificed through choice, laid waste by action
\nThese other parts of me are long gone
\nBut tantalizingly close, as if it only would take
\n a new choice. Something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember the me in high school
\nAn idiot by every measure, there is no shortage
\nOf those measures, long and short, near and far
\nI failed in everything in some way, but no one
\nWould tell me or I failed at the listening
\nI feel like iconic defining moments may have
\nBeen wasted away, like a tree without sun
\nIt is there, but it provides shade to nothing
\nExcept its withered core, hidden deep within
\nMy heart was never open, my empathy never came
\nI was a shell of the person I could have been
\nAnd I have had to fake it ever since
\nDo people realize that I am a robot?
\nDoes it ever occur to them that it is a ruse?
\nA lie to push others away and hide my pilot
\n a terribly frightened child. Cowering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The me that should have been could still be
\nBut to push at those boundaries of concrete
\nRequire strength I cannot muster or request
\nThe person that is eager to form cannot
\nBecause of the shell that now contains it
\nWe all are constrained by the choices we make
\nActed upon by forces that may be labeled
\nSometimes not. They are insidiously invisible
\nHunting in the dark, in the light
\nThrough systems or culture, assumptive asinine
\nDangerous creatures of wilds explored
\nThose other versions of myself are victims
\nThemselves, brutalized by necessity
\nOr mismanaged by circumstance to an unequal end
\nThat now cannot be counted or measured to
\n a standard unfair. Unchosen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those other versions weep in the dark
\nHuddled and scared, feeling for the hope that
\nShould exist and be prevalent in all things
\nIs this the limits of my person? This?
\nWhat I am will never be more than a crude
\nImitation of a human adult, misshapen and folded
\nUpon itself, a unknown galaxy of time
\nShuddering in its own dark blanket as
\nWhisps of the eddies of the distant stars
\nBuffer each other in the long empty above
\nPulled into the dark above my bed
\nPushing at the corners of my room, expansive
\nSuch moments are exquisite of themselves
\nA time to marvel at the majesty of everything
\nThat could be, that should be, that layers
\n a finite possibility. To change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To change the shape of me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I see other versions of myself Late at night when the dark pushes its way Into the edges of the room, forcing their retreat The focal length of my room changes As the corners stretch …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-verse","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=492"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":494,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/492\/revisions\/494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discardme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}