Excerpts from Case File h0054-3a, Item 01, “Tommy’s Very Secret Journal”. Artifact located after initial contact date, Sigma 02-12-12. Released to Special Committee for study by Contact Group. Excerpt collection, commenting, and collation provided by Contact Group, as follows. Excluded material was found to be non-identifiable and not pursuant to case. Dates intentionally removed.
Excerpt 1 – first mention by Tommy of Suzie
My name is Tommy. I am eight years old. I was born in Colorado Springs, CO. I live in Evergreen, CO with my family. I have two brothers and one sister. I am the third children (sic). My mother is a home designer, she helps make new homes pretty. My father is a realtor, which is just a fancy way to say he is a salesman of other people’s houses.
I have an imaginary friend. Her name is Suzie. Suzie loves me. I love her. She is my best friend. I can’t tell anyone about her. I did a couple times, and got in big trouble with Mommy and Daddy. Suzie tells me that she has been with me since I was 2 years old. I talked about Suzie for a long time when I was a baby, but when school started, Mommy was upset that I still talked about Suzie. She took me to a doctor today.
Mommy bought me this notebook. I like to read. Mommy says I should write stories. Stories about my invisible friend.
Suzie said that she agrees with Mommy. I will try. I want to make Mommy and Suzie happy.
Excerpt 2 – second mention, first signal notation!
Today was my birthday. Everyone forgot. Mom was working, Dad is traveling, my horrible brothers don’t care, and my sister is at a sleepover. I turned 10 today. 10! And no one remembered my birthday.
Suzie did. She sang me a beautiful song and told me that we should take a hike tonight to the lake. She told me that she could show me something special. I asked her what she meant. She doesn’t want to spoil the surprise.
<<CC: Different handwriting – note the loops and the change in direction on the flow of the characters>>
It is a surprise, and you will like it, Tom.
<<CC: returns to Tommy’s native handwriting>>
I hope so Suzie. You are the only one that calls me Tom. I like Tom.
Excerpt 3 – day after above excerpt (#2)
Suzie and I walked up to what my dad calls the Thunder Tree. It is an old burnt tree that is cracked in half. In the summers, we come up here for picnics in the meadow. Thunder Tree burned down when I was two years old. Dad said it was a hell of a storm.
Suzie told me to walk past the tree and head to the lake. At the edge of the lake, she told me to step into the water. I didn’t want to get wet. She told me to be brave. I was.
I walked on the water. It was like firm ground. It was amazing! I could see the fish under my feet, and even a turtle!
Thank you Suzie! That was a great!
<<CC: Second signal notation, again notice the changed pattern in the writing.>>
You are welcome, Tom. You mean the world to me.
Excerpt 4 – (redacted) In which Tommy and Suzie discuss puberty and human physiology.
<<CC: security clearance required for this passage due to genome modification and the resulting questionable homeland security concerns, please contact administrator for further details. Appears that integration was accelerating with Tom’s permission, the details are graphic.>>
Excerpt 5 – first mention of integration success by Tommy
I started my biology unit today. We will be dissecting a toad in the next couple weeks. Yuck. I am not very excited about the slicing and dicing, but Suzie has started talking about the finer points as we go through the material. I love having my own study partner. Being a freshman is hard, but having someone else to talk to helps. Since I can talk to her now without speaking out loud, it makes it so much easier. She told me she is like lace, laying gently over me. It has taken a long time to get to this point, we have grown a lot together since she first asked. She is whispering to me now about constellations, telling me to wrap my journal entry up. She loves the stars.
Excerpt 6 – Tommy’s discovery.
Suz showed me how to seperate my thoughts from hers. She told me that I was my own person, and that I had every right to my own thoughts, feelings, and self. It is getting easier to pull my attention away from her. It helps when I talk to others.
I have made some good friends this year. I thought Biology and Chemistry would be my worst subjects, but at this point, I don’t think I have a worse subject. Suz helps me with everything in her own way. Last night, I was at a study group with my friends, and George asked about my homework after everyone else left. I told him it was already done, and he asked me if he could sneak a look. I trust George… he is a good friend. I don’t think he was looking to cheat, just get some direction. So I helped him. While we were chatting I accidentally mentioned Suzie. He gave me a strange look when I blurted the thing about an invisible friend. Good thing we were alone, because he probably thought I was nuts. I laughed it off and told him I was messing with him. He didn’t look too sure. But eventually I got him to laugh about it too. That was close.
I confronted Suz about it on the walk home. She told me that we were unique. I had just thought it was taboo… something everyone just didn’t talk about, like sex or Aunt Margie’s live-in “friend”. All this time, I thought everyone had a voice inside their head. I thought everyone had an invisible friend. I thought that is what everyone was talking about when they talked about the little voice saying what is right and what is wrong. All those other things… the holy spirit… the internal dialogue… the subconscious…. all a lie. No one else has their own Suzie.
Suz explained that other people have the internal thoughts, but she herself was not one of those things for me. She lifted my arm and changed my eyes to see. I could see her… bound within me, under my skin, near my bones, wrapped around me in the most intimate way. She explained to me that we were the only ones like this in the entire world.
I don’t know why, but I cried.
I still am sad about it. Not about being alone in this with Suz. But I am sad for all of my family. My friends. My teachers and fellow students. All of them, alone. So very alone. Not a single one knowing what true companionship is like. Not a single one of them knowing what it was like to have a best friend with you all the time. Not a single one of them feeling complete love from the other… the sense of devotion that I get from Suz when we are talking about the stars, about the principles of fusion and quantum mechanics, about the underlying fabric of our universe.
All of you out there, like solitary candles in the dark. It is so sad. My mom and dad, brothers and sisters…
I am lucky.
Excerpt 7 – The last entry in the artifact diary.
I graduated today, two years early. I should say that both Suzie and I graduated. I was top of my class, Valedictorian. I was class president, number one track star, and state record holder for the 100 meter and high jump. I could have been a world champion in anything.
I am holding back. Suzie and I were both holding it back. She told me she was waiting for something from me. Maturity? A certain level of understanding?
HA. She just told me that she was waiting for my short hairs to grow in.
The reality is that I am much more than human. Suzie, a crystalline entity that has inhabited my body since she crashed into Earth when I was only two years old, has made me something more. Something complex and meta-human. We can talk to cell phone networks without cellphones, we can communicate with satellites without the operators knowing we are there, we can hack on the internet in real time without a computer sitting in front of us. Wikipedia, Google, the deep internet, unseen sites that have been around since before I was born, university learning programs, governments, very scary people and organizations… all of it… open to me at a moment’s whim. We just need a signal.
And Suzie is telling me to point out that the porn was ‘handy’ too. Har de har har.
But that isn’t just it. She has made me stronger. I never got sick as a kid. My brothers and sister did. Everyone thought I was just a hardy kid. Suzie made me strong, fast, and healthy. I can run faster than anyone, jump higher than anyone, run longer than anyone. I can hold my breath under water for long spans of time (hours, we tested it last week). She can finely control my digestion and metabolism. I can eat anything. Literally. Last week, I ate a bar of soap, fourteen ball bearings, small loops of copper wire, a platinum medallion that I picked up in a pawn shop, and some nickels from the 1950s. Suzie ‘processed’ it into a subdermal mesh for interfacing with electronics at a physical level. I just touch things now, and I understand them. Fundamentally.
We are building something cool. Something to take her home, and I am going with her.
But first we have decided to leave a message. Mankind has to know that they are not alone.
So if you are reading this… now you know my own personal journey in this. Know that I was not forced or coerced. Know that she gave me the choice many times to separate. Know that Suzimerieralil, Explorer First Class, and second of fourteen aboard the Chalsineei, has been the best part of me all these years.
Oh… and by the way…
We will be coming back.